The Cover Girl
by Crudy
Summary: Ever wondered how Jiraiya and Naruto kept a low profile during their three-year training trip? Why, through a high profile of course! Meanwhile, a certain broody avenger comes face to face with a face he’d seen on the face of a magazine. What the hell!
1. I bUsTeD!

ღღ **The Cover Girl** ღღ

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A/N: **FemNaru again guys. Don't like it, press back/ctrl+F4/alt+F4. I think I'm slowly turning into an exclusive FemNaru writer, though I'll write something pitting against that in the near future, if I have the time that is.

Anyway, story begins with Naruto's three-year training trip with Jiraiya. If you've read my other fic, you would've noticed it also begins in the same timeline. What can I say? It's the latency period for Naruto. All you need is your creative wits and _voil_à_!_

SasuFemNaru, just like my other fic. Story was initially GaaFemNaru, but I thought it over and decided Sasuke would be more responsive (and pissed) to Naruto.

**This is NOT yaoi btw!**

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**ℵ **▓ ஐ ▲ ≌ ﺴ۩ **ℵ **▓ ஐ ▲≌ ﺴ۩ **_For Broken Sexed Up Bloody Kitten _****ℵ **▓ ஐ ▲ ≌ ﺴ۩ **ℵ **▓ ஐ ▲ ≌ ﺴ۩ ۝

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**۝

**I. bUsTeD!**

He and Jiraiya were well beyond Konoha's boundary when his hell started. Naruto was quiet for the most part of the trip. He was still feeling devastated from his sudden departure from the village and ultimately everyone.

Last thing Naruto remembered was recuperating from the recent retrieval mission before Jiraiya busted in and started doing this lameass speech and convinced him in his current state. But he guessed it was better than moping around and knocking on every Jounin's front door, asking for personal training. Kakashi seemed more aloof after the whole Sasuke ordeal. Not that he was ever approachable since the beginning.

Now he was rambling. Where was he again?

Oh yeah, the whole _hell_ thing.

"Drop the seal Naruto," Jiraiya blurted out suddenly. As simple as that.

* * *

"Huh? Whaddya mean, old man?!" Naruto said, almost yelling as usual. Jiraiya winced at this.

"Keep it down, will you? No wonder you didn't hear me well. All that yelling of yours is starting to get to your ears!"

"No it's not, Ero-sennin! And stop being such a wimp!"

Jiraiya snorted at this. "Pft! How dare you, a mere scrawny female, call the Great Toad Hermit a wimp?"

"…"

"Ah, you come before me unprepared and now you are caught speechless in the presence of this—!"

"What did you call me?"

"Idiot, I call you a lot of things worse."

"_I SAID, WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"_

Jiraiya was rather taken aback. His sight lingered towards Naruto's flushed face. Then something hit him on the head, figuratively of course. "I know your secret if that's what you're wondering. I just asked you to drop the seal, remember?"

* * *

"Thirteen years ago, I held witness to the birth of a child. And that's you of course. What's just off about that is that I remember perfectly clear that the child is a girl." Jiraiya gave Naruto an appraising look to emphasize his point. "When I saw you years later and discovered it was you, I became suspicious. So I began wondering. Sex change? Hell no! Henge? Too plain. Genjutsu? None of the nullifying jutsus would work on you."

"So, w-what d'you wanna s-say?" Naruto stuttered. But made up for it with a cry of, "YOU FUCKING OLD FART!"

"God, kiddo! Where was I? Oh yeah, I thought it can only be the work of a seal. Something complicated for you but not for others. That only means someone else has done it to protect you in some way. It was old man Sarutobi, I guess?"

"…Yeah."

"Ah, I see. So now that's solved, drop the seal. I'm sure you're taught how to."

"What?! No way in hell!" Naruto paused and added, "You pervert!"

"Oh please, you're the biggest turn-off any man could ever meet."

"I dare you to say that again!"

Jiraiya seemed to linger, as if in contemplation, and then said, "Nah, too long."

"GAH!!"

* * *

After much persuasion and, not to mention, eleven bowls of ramen from the nearest town, Naruto deactivated the seal. The ramen wasn't as good as Ichiraku's but it was enough to fool her ramen-deprived appetite. Now, Naruto had to walk around 24/7 in her true form, which pisses her off by the way. But before she could get royally pissed, she asked Ero-sennin why the hell she had to drop the seal the first thing they entered their hotel room.

As quick as she asked, Jiraiya was on his feet, closing curtains and doing some weird jutsus.

"Hey! What the hell you doing?!"

"Shhh! Shut it, brat!"

"Well if you'd only explain…"

"How many people do you think knows you're traveling with me?"

"Uh…everyone I know?" Naruto blurted the most obvious answer. But she seemed more uncertain with it as the seconds flew. And this stunned her.

"Actually no. Only four people in Konoha do. And that would be Tsunade-hime, Shizune, your friend Sakura and Kakashi."

"Wait, what? Only them? Well right now everyone must know about it, considering how fast news—"

"Don't you understand why there are only four people, moron?"

Naruto fumed. "Obviously no! Why is it then, genius?"

"Akatsuki, Naruto."

Naruto immediately stopped fuming. She turned to Jiraiya as comprehension dawned on her.

"And also the reason why I asked you, brat, to drop the seal."

Since then Naruto decided to follow Jiraiya's serious orders obediently.

* * *

There was moment of awkward silence. Naruto just gave him an open look of guilt when Jiraiya suddenly grabbed her and made her sway with him.

"I CAN MAKE THE RUNNER STUMBLE! I CAN MAKE THE FINAL BLOCK! AND I CAN MAKE EVERY TACKLE AT THE SOUND OF THE WHISTLE—!"

"Whaa! Shut up! Shut up!" Naruto tried to wiggle out of his grasp but failed miserably.

"—I CAN MAKE ALL THE STADIUMS ROCK! I CAN MAKE TONIGHT—"

The pitiful excuse for a song was cut off by a painful sound of a _crack_ of a certain person's skull that resounded throughout their small hotel room. Jiraiya immediately released the small girl.

"OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! What the hell was that for?!" He yowled while rubbing his forehead.

"You fucking old fart with totally no taste! You didn't have to go that far! The song's already lame without you singing it!"

"What?! That song happens to be my favorite song of all time, thank you!"

"Lame-o!" Naruto hated to admit to Ero-sennin but she was grateful he decided to break the awkward silence. But that didn't mean she was going to let him off that easily after scarring her ear drums!

And then began the squabbling, hair pulling (on Naruto's part) and only-God-knows-else that lasted throughout the whole afternoon but stopped when Naruto's stomach gave an ugly growl.

* * *

"Ah! Now that's over… DINNER TIME!" Naruto gave a good hard smack on her belly at that.

"Wait! Naruto!" Jiraiya yelled at her while tugging on her arm.

Naruto glared at him. "What? Give me a rest, will you?"

"Okay, no more fighting so we can all get dinner, but before that there's something I'd like to discuss with you."

"Argh! Piss off, Ero-sennin! Put that on hold till dinner!"

"No, it's important," Jiraiya said seriously and Naruto quieted down immediately at the face he made. "Since we're trying to change your identity here, we might as well change everything about you."

"Huh?!"

"Let's start with your name."

"Hold on a sec! You're changing my name?"

"Yeah, but only for your cover. Not in paper of course. Shall I do the honors of giving suggestions?"

"…"

"_Cough_! Okay what about Naruko?"

"Huh?! Seriously now! What a way to blow up a cover!"

"Okay…maybe you're right. How about Narue?"

"Fucking old retarded lameass with the brains of a pea, should've known—"

"Uh, how about Naruta? Ah, Narueto! No, maybe Naruka!"

"No, no and no! You…! Ugh! Just hurry the hell up already!"

"Well shut up and help me with this, we could be over by now you know!"

* * *

In the end, they both settled for _Noriko_. Jiraiya thought it was a beautiful name. Naruto thought it was an okay name. Naruto headed to the door after that but Jiraiya said her surname had to be changed too. Naruto was more pissed off by then. But she was taken aback when only a single suggestion was made and they were off for dinner. But she was more taken aback when Jiraiya gave her an added identity after that.

"Namikaze," Jiraiya had said. "That's going to be your new last name. No buts, brat. Namikaze Noriko, granddaughter of Jiraiya the Sannin!"

She and Jiraiya had not uttered a word to each other right after leaving the hotel and even throughout dinner. Naruto was craving for a dessert after her first meal. So she excused herself and went searching for something appetizing and sweet outside the restaurant.

Unbeknown to Naruto, most of the male masses around her were starting to notice the young girl and had their eyes glued to her. Naruto, who was dressed in a plain white shirt and a pair of orange capri sweatpants, looked superb in spite of her ordinary clothing. For a thirteen year old, she had the body and height of a sixteen year old and a very unique face—unique that was in a good way of course.

Naruto settled on fried vanilla ice cream. After paying for her order, she marched back to where she left Ero-sennin—or Ero-jiji as he was now her "grandfather." When she was back, the chair Ero-sennin used to occupy was empty. Naruto frowned and decided the old man probably took a piss.

So she waited and waited and waited. Naruto, who was tapping her fingers on the clothed table, was even tapping it more loudly. When a waitress in the pink uniform of theirs came and handed to her the chit, Naruto slammed her hands on the table and stalked off to the restroom.

"Hey, miss!" The young waitress called out to her.

Naruto ignored her and continued her trip to the restroom. When she spotted the male sign, she yanked the door open to a—

"AAAHHHHH!!"

"Hey, female! Do you mind?!"

"Yo babe, you those fast types, huh?!"

Oops.

Naruto slammed the door shut in total embarrassment and total red face. Damn, she forgot she was a girl now! Naruto could still hear the sounds of incredulous huffs, comments on how "that chick was hot," and some other unintelligible stuff.

The rumpus she caused attracted the attention of the females from the female restroom, the dining customers, the waitresses and waiters, and, worst of all, the manager!

Naruto's eyes swept over her _audience_ and said, "Uh…I could explain?"

No one seemed convinced.

"Mommy, Mommy! What's wrong with that lady?"

"It's what you call pervert, Aki."

"What's a pervert, Mommy?"

"Blondes," the brunette mommy hissed.

* * *

Naruto fiddled as she looked nervously around the cozy and _very_ brown office. She would look anywhere but at the stern-faced manager. Naruto started getting dizzy with the brown and was grateful when the manager gave out a deliberate cough.

"So uh, Miss…?"

"U—Namikaze."

"Miss Unamikaze."

"No, no! It's Namikaze!"

"Ah sorry, Miss Namikaze," he said while taking something out from his breast pocket. It was a thin sheet of paper folded twice. And this he handed to her. It was the chit. "Customers are always right, of course, but after that _thing_ you've caused and you still have some unsettled accounts with our establishment."

"Uh, about that, you see I was with someone when we I ate here. I was expecting him to pay so…"

"And where might this mysterious companion of yours be?"

Naruto frowned at his almost mocking tone. Ooh, now she so officially hates serious pompous ass losers. "That's why I went to the restroom, to look for him."

"And you could've knocked instead of giving our restaurant the reputation of attracting perverts."

"Hey! I was, uh well you see…"

"Now let us put that past us and you pay for your bill and we can all go home now."

"Uh, sure thing."

* * *

When that was over Naruto decided to ask the other restaurant staff about Jiraiya. But it seems they were too scared of the "blonde voyeur" for Naruto to even get a word out of them. Naruto tried her luck with a waiter not too faraway, who was currently gathering the mess of previous customers.

He didn't seem scared of her, but looked rather amused instead.

"Oh, you're Jiraiya-sama's granddaughter?"

"Uh, yeah," she said awkwardly, still finding the granddaughter stuff weird. "You know Ero-sennin?! Wait, what's a shinobi doing, working in a restaurant?! Shouldn't you be out and kicking some ass?"

"Ah, that. Our family owns this place so…ah well, you could get the picture! Hope Dad wasn't too harsh on you."

"What?! That guy was your dad?! Oh, I mean the manager's your dad?"

He nodded amusedly. "Oh, Jiraiya-sama left a message for you. He said to wait for him at the place the two of you are staying."

"What? Why?"

The boy shrugged. "Dunno, just saw him left with—"

"Some chick again?!"

"Uh, no some man."

* * *

_Some man, some man, some man!_

What does that mean? Jiraiya was gay?

Naruto's thoughts were disturbed by a knock on the door. Naruto stayed put in her bed, refusing to open the door for the old bastard. The knocks became louder.

"Hey, Naruto! I know you're in there! Open up!"

"Fuck you!"

There was a pause and the lock rotated and then the door was open. He probably used some jutsu.

"What was that for, brat?"

"What was leaving me to pay for, old fart?!" Naruto shot back at him.

"Oh, c'mon I'll pay you." Naruto made a mocked fart sound at this. "Uh, well this time I'm sure I'll pay you!" Naruto repeated the fart sound again.

After a moment of silence, Naruto asked him, "Where the fucking hell were you?!"

"Uh, adult business."

"Porn?"

"Unfortunately, no. Listen, I've got no time to explain, pack our things up and get ready to leave."

"What?! Why? And what do you mean 'our?'"

"Just do it!"

There was a knock on the door and a "Room service!"

Jiraiya gave her a quizzical look. Naruto grinned sheepishly at him. She got up from the bed and opened the door.

Naruto frowned when she saw the room service guy. "Hey! Where's my soda and cheesecake?!"

Jiraiya froze at this. Then he stealthily made his way to the window.

The room service guy gently shoved Naruto to the side and yelled, "JIRAIYA! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?"

"YIKES!!"

Jiraiya looked at the room service guy and at Naruto then back to the guy then back to Naruto. He gave Naruto a pleading look, hoping she'll get the message of "hurry and leave, brat!" But unfortunately for him, Naruto was a dumb blonde and stayed still.

"Ah, Jiraiya, my man! Why the face?"

Jiraiya wanted badly to say, "It's because I saw your ugly mug, moron!" But nothing came out of his mouth.

_Why does the service room guy know Ero-sennin anyway?_

"I was about to remind you of the case." As he said this Jiraiya paled. "But, when I saw this lovely creature," he said while gesturing to Naruto and pulling her close to him by the shoulder. "I think I'm pulling out."

Jiraiya suddenly felt lighter but he was still confused. "Why?"

The man waved him off. "Oh, c'mon you silly old man. I told you, didn't I? It's because of this girl!" He pulled Naruto even closer to him and she tried to wriggle from his grasp.

"What's Na—Noriko got to do with this?"

"Noriko? Ah, this must be the granddaughter you've mentioned to me earlier."

_Earlier? Hold on! This guy..._

_He's Ero-sennin's gay lover!_

"So what the hell's this got do with her?!" Jiraiya cried out impatiently.

"Tsk, tsk, Jiraiya _dear_," he said.

_I knew it! I knew it!_

"For making one of my best clients temporarily…disabled," he started.

_What did he say? That didn't seem right…_

_Gasp! That client!_

_The client is his DICK!_

"Young Noriko," he continued and Naruto didn't even acknowledge the name, considering she wasn't used to it and busy making ridiculous deductions about Ero-sennin's sexuality. "She would have to take Keiko-chan's place and from now on she would work for me."

"Wait, you're kidding, right?!" Naruto and Jiraiya cried out in unison.

"BUT I DON'T WANNA WORK FOR ERO-SENNIN'S GAY LOVER!"

Jiraiya gave her a blank stare. "Naruto, shut up."

"Who's Naruto?" The still unnamed guy asked, to which was ignored by Naruto and Jiraiya.

* * *

**A/N: **Oops! A chapter dead end. So, what do you think? Should I continue with this?

Another thing, I keep confusing he and she/her and his/him with Naruto. So, help me with that!

**Could anyone guess what song Jiraiya sang?  
**

Review! Reviews make me happy! :D


	2. Ii To SiGn Or NoT tO sIgN aNd

๑۩۞۩๑ **The Cover Girl** ๑۩۞۩๑

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**A/N:** Here it is the second chapter!

I would have to say…WOW! I opened my mail to see tons of alerts, favorites and, most importantly, REVIEWS! Thanks! I'd never expected that much, so thank you! Wow, 30+ reviews, for a single chapter. Even my other fic, Cadaveric, couldn't come close to that. Again, thanks and much love!

The preview thingy, if you haven't read that well I've posted a preview for this second chapter because I wanted to make an announcement. It's about Midnight's Gale, she has been found to be plagiarizing. For more info, visit my profile, there's a link to a forum dedicated to her and her illegal acts.

Oh, speaking of my profile, hoped you checked the inspiration pic for this fanfic on my profile. It's insanely cute!

A sad announcement. I'm having classes and I'd so hate it if Naruto's gonna pull my grades down. So studies first of course. Meaning: slower updates. I'm not sure at what rate my updates are gonna be. But I assure you it's gonna be slow. But I'm not abandoning this of course!

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**Ii. To SiGn Or NoT tO sIgN aNd OmG! a ToTaL mAkEoVeR  
**

"_Scraggly white hair, cheap wooden shoes, revolting red marks on the face, incredibly bland fashion statement, you would have to be Sannin Jiraiya, am I correct?"_

_Jiraiya, who was peacefully slurping glass noodles after Naruto left, spluttered all of it on the speaker's face._

"_You! Did you come here to insult me?! And just who the hell are you?!"_

_The man, whose face was hidden by dripping sauces and noodles, and not to mention Jiraiya's spit, blindingly grabbed a napkin from the table. When he was done wiping, Jiraiya could see a plain face degraded by a disgruntled expression._

_The man procured something from a small leather suitcase that was obviously his and then gave it to Jiraiya._

_It was a magazine, some _Crisp _magazine thing with the typical good-looking cover girl. "Eh? What's this for?""_

"_Shouldn't you be asking, 'who's this?' Don't you recognize her, Jiraiya?"_

_Jiraiya frowned at the lack of honorific. "Well, how the hell should I know?"_

"_Oh, no, no," he jeered. "You should know her very well. Umaro Keiko, supermodel from Star Country and also," he paused dramatically. "The woman carrying your child."_

_Jiraiya froze. With much effort, he recollected himself. "Could we discuss about this outside?"_

* * *

"_WHAT?!!!"_

Jiraiya cringed, Naruto could sure get high-pitched if she wanted to.

"So now don't tell me he's blackmailing you?"

"Err, he's filed a case against me. Statutory rape." Jiraiya bowed his head in shame.

"You mean to say the girl was underage?! You…you…!"

"What?"

"Pedophile! Pervert! Sicko! The Ultimate One!"

"Argh! Stop! I've heard enough already!"

"Well, you obviously hadn't heard enough to castrate yourself!"

"Castrate? Now, Naruto that's going overboard…"

"It would do the world a favor," Naruto muttered angrily as she plopped herself on the bed. "So, how's Keiko-san and the child doing?"

"Abortion," was all he said.

Naruto felt her jaws drop to the floor. "What?!"

"Yeah, but that Hoshino bastard is intent on filing the case." Jiraiya's eye lingered on Naruto and a smile crept up to his features. "And that's where you come in, Naruto, or should I say, _Noriko?_"

Uh-oh, that's what she was definitely dreading, that_ thing_. Mr. Hoshino, a.k.a room service guy and a.k.a Ero-sennin's gay lover, offered _Noriko_ a modeling contract under their agency in exchange of withdrawing from the case with Ero-sennin. And what did Ero-sennin think a girl who's lived her life as a boy for THIRTEEN YEARS say?

This:

"Frigging tard who can't tell his ass from his dick, NO WAY IN HELL!!!"

Yeah she was direct. And don't forget vulgar.

Jiraiya choked in disbelief at this. "What? Naruto!"

"Yeah?" She said while checking on her nails.

"Look at me!"

"I have pinkeye."

"Idiot, that's not a cause for transmission! Ah, well you're hopeless! C'mon you have to bail me out. This is gonna ruin my reputation."

Naruto snorted. "As if it's not ruined already."

"You don't understand. Don't you wanna earn big cash? And just so you know, this is the first time I'll be accused legally."

Naruto gaped.

"Yeah, it's true Naruto."

Naruto blinked and said, "Aw, that's sad. But that's just your life."

* * *

"Naruto, how could you?!"

Jiraiya fumed silently, while searching for the right words to say.

Naruto needs him, so what the hell is she saying? Well she could always go back to Konoha and have Kakashi instead. That's probably what the blonde moron was thinking about.

Hah! That Naruto, how dare she refuse a Sannin? A Great Sage?

And who's even taking benefits here?

Ah, well both of them actually. Yeah, Naruto agreed to be his apprentice in order to save who-was-that-again?

_TING! TING! TING! _

_BINGO, BABY!_

"Ah, I guess your friend can't be saved from Orochimaru when the source of your power would be locked up."

* * *

"Do I have to read the whole thing, Ero-sennin?" Naruto whispered to Jiraiya who was sitting beside her and was, for once, dressed in conventional clothes and looked like he was meaning business. And they were in fact doing contractual business in Mr. Hoshino's office.

"No, moron. Just sign, and sign where they ask you to," Jiraiya whispered exasperatedly.

"What? Where's that?" Jiraiya slapped a hand to his forehead. He should've known idiots can't understand paper stuff.

"Is something wrong?" Came Mr. Hoshino's voice.

"Yeah! Where the hell do I have to sign?! These papers are obviously done by stupid people!"

"Ah, that would be me," said Mr. Hoshino.

"…"

"…"

"_Hey isn't that Superninja flying outside of the window?!"_ Jiraiya shrieked.

Both Naruto and Hoshino actually searched for _Superninja_.

"There's no window in my office," Mr. Hoshino pointed out.

"Ah, I knew that! Hehehe."

"Corny," some blonde bimbo commented. Jiraiya glared at her.

* * *

Mr. Hoshino decided to give Naruto instructions on signing the papers. When they were done, Mr. Hoshino stood up. Naruto and Jiraiya thought it was best to follow suit.

"Congratulations and welcome, Miss Namikaze," said Mr. Hoshino and held out his hand in a handshake. Naruto thought it was a low five and slapped the hand in return. Mr. Hoshino was taken aback but let it off.

"Hey! Hey! Do I earn here? Or you're not giving us any money?" Naruto whined.

"Your one-year contract is worth 80,000 ryou, which you'll receive at the end of one year. You'll earn more when clients hire you. As of now you have zero clients."

"So…zero clients is equal to…"

"Zero ryou, moron," Jiraiya sneered.

"Yeah, yeah! I know that, asshole!"

"Um, really, is that the way grandfathers and granddaughters address each other?" Mr. Hoshino interjected.

Naruto was about to say "fuck off!" when Jiraiya beat her to it. "Ah, never mind that! So when does Noriko start?"

"Uh…Since your granddaughter is currently a nobody…"

"Yes?" Jiraiya leaned in closer.

"Noriko, and if you'd like to come too Jiraiya, you will move to Star Country, where our main headquarters reside."

"Ah, no problems," Jiraiya said.

"But I'd like us to leave first thing tomorrow. You will be attending a launching party with me on Wednesday, Noriko."

"Party? What for?"

"Most of the big clients will be there. It's time for you turn into a somebody!"

"Would they serve ramen there?! Coz I'm not going without ramen!"

"Uh, I guess so," Mr. Hoshino lied with no idea what a ramen was. "Anyway…first, let's get you a total make-over. From clothes, hair, and eww, your nails, Noriko, horrendous, I might add."

"Hey! That stuff's for fairies!"

"And a fairy you should be!" Mr. Hoshino beamed at her. Naruto started to protest. "Uh-uh, remember the contract you've just signed. No buts, Noriko."

"ERO-SENNIN, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Said person was wise enough to leave before all hate-energy was transferred to him.

* * *

The first thing Naruto said when she entered hers and Jiraiya's hotel room was, "You shit-smelling geezer! You ditched me! Again!"

"Hey! Didn't see you there! About that, I figured it's best to leave you to cool down since I'm so _hot_."

"Go fuck a dog!"

There was a sudden knock on the door.

"Noriko, it's Mr. Hoshino," came the guy's muffled voice.

Naruto growled. If she was going to see Hoshino's face everyday, she better back out of the deal.

Naruto reluctantly opened the door. Mr. Hoshino burst in so suddenly that Naruto was squashed to the wall. What followed Mr. Hoshino was like a parade of circus animals. About four or so women, all dressed in bright colors and all carrying something either big or shiny, were his companions.

Naruto was irked by the jewels and accessories the women have all up their bodies like gypsies. And their girly outfits were making her want to puke too!

Only Jiraiya seemed pleased to see their visitors. Of course, what was to expect from that Super-Pervert?

Jiraiya approached their guests and welcomed them. "Ohohoho—!"

"And a Merry Christmas!" _Oh, Naruto-sama you're such a genius!_

Jiraiya glared holes at her as the ladies giggled. "Peace, old man. You do resemble Santa, with your white hair and all."

"Naruto…," Jiraiya growled in warning.

Mr. Hoshino, sensing another round of bickering from _grandfather_ and _granddaughter_, interrupted with a very loud and enthusiastic voice.

"Noriko! Good to see you again!"

"I've been in your office like minutes ago, dolt."

Mr. Hoshino seemed less offended. "Such beauty like you is always worthwhile to see! Now let me introduce to you our assistants for your make-over."

Naruto could feel butterflies in her stomach. She knew this was coming but she was unprepared, dammit!

"The lovely redhead in the leopard dress is Kaede-chan. The awesome gal looking great in…"

And then so followed the introductions, with Mr. Hoshino introducing the girls and commenting on their outfit, make-up and all that shit. Of course, Jiraiya kissing the hands of the ladies after each introduction was inevitable. Naruto wasn't listening and was busy sharpening her weapons in a corner.

"These girls are experts in the field of beauty, as you can oh-so clearly see. Am I right, Noriko?"

"…"

_Ching! Ching! Ching!_

"What's that noise?" Everyone oblivious to what Naruto was doing was not so oblivious now as they had already spotted her. No one seemed more offended than Mr. Hoshino. "Noriko! Don't tell me you're a ninja?!"

Naruto continued sharpening her weapons and ignored him so Jiraiya answered for her instead.

"Yes. She is my granddaughter after all."

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

Jiraiya started sweating buckets. "Uh, so you're going to sue me again?"

Mr. Hoshino regarded him with a sharp eye. "Ninjas always get into fights. Therefore they probably have so much...*_gagging sound*_…scars. My models are supposed to be flawless in flesh!"

Jiraiya nodded. "I see if that's what's bothering you. _Noriko!_" No answer. "Ramen girl!"

"What?!" Naruto said but thought something seemed missing. Oh. "Cocksucker!"

"Come here! Free ramen if—!" Before Jiraiya could even finish, Naruto was already there, ready to obey like a cute adorable pup. "Give me that kunai. Thank you. Give me your arm too."

"What the fuck do you really want?!"

"Mr. Hoshino, watch this," Jiraiya said. He dragged the kunai over Naruto's forearm.

"Ouch!" Naruto slapped him. And Jiraiya scowled at how low he had to stoop just to get out of his _legal_ troubles.

"Oh my God! The wound!" A few gasps escaped their visitors' mouth. And sure enough, Naruto's wound was healing before their very eyes.

"Perfect, isn't she?" Jiraiya nudged Mr. Hoshino.

"No, flawlessly perfect," Mr. Hoshino corrected dreamily.

* * *

"Beauty is always from head to foot. The first thing people notice is your head before your feet. So we must begin with your hair!" Mr. Hoshino exclaimed keenly. "Kaede, work your magic on her!"

Naruto only remembered Kaede, the one Hoshino said was the redhead and wearing the…uh…lion's dress?

"Leopard, you moron." Wow, did she say out that loud? Naruto scowled and flipped the bird at Ero-sennin.

"Now, now, Noriko. Models are supposed to be extremely lady-like. No profanities from now on."

Naruto merely grunted in response. Then Naruto suddenly felt something pulling on her hair. "Hey!"

"Easy, easy," Kaede soothed as she ran the brush and her fingers through her blonde locks. "Wow, Noriko-chan, your hair's the most perfect I've ever seen! Dai-kun, there's no need for fixing her hair at all."

"Mmm, I thought so. Just give it a nice trim."

"Okay, Dai-kun!"

"It seems your services are of no need, Kaede," came a new voice. Everyone turned around to look at the source of the voice, a scary-looking dark-haired woman with heavy eyelashes smoking in a corner.

Kaede scowled but ignored the woman. "Ah, what kind of hair care product do you use, Noriko-chan? Like what brand of shampoo and stuff like that!"

"Uh, soap but I dunno what brand it is. Detergent if I run out of it."

There were collective gasps and gags heard all around.

"What?! Ah! Hahahaha! Noriko-chan, you witty girl!" Kaede giggled.

"Hey! I wasn't kidding!" Naruto said defensively.

"It's true, Kaede-chan," Jiraiya interrupted. "She doesn't bring any shampoo with her."

"Oh but soap makes your hair dry! Or worse, damage it!"

"Kaede, you dimwit. Not everyone's the same as you," the scary woman from before said.

"No one asked for your opinion, Michi!"

Naruto cheered for them.

"Bitch-fight! Bitch-fight! Bitch-fight!"

* * *

Unfortunately, there wasn't any bitch-fight. Naruto utterly felt disgruntled. They applied some sort of gooey and icky stuff on her face. God, it was slimy! She could feel it dripping on her skin. It felt like poop. Almost smelled like one too.

Gasp! Could it be?!

But the moment it tumbled dry, it was peeled off of her skin. Naruto could feel the puke rising to her throat just from smelling that awful substance.

Anyway, someone was working on her nails. Her name was Akane and she was having a hard time with Naruto's nails.

"Hmm, maybe the nail clippers is tarnished?" Hoshino suggested.

"No, no. It's these nails! Their like those nails from the mummy movies!"

"Well excuse me if my nails aren't as un-mossy as yours!"

"Now, now girls—" Mr. Hoshino placated.

"RGAHAOHAOHAOHAOHAOHAO!!!!!!!" Jiraiya drunkenly flung an arm around the woman beside him then took a swig from a sake bottle. "And then I said to him! I said to him, "Ya obviously don't—!"

"Looks like someone's having fun," Naruto grimaced.

"AHH! THERE!" Akane shrieked.

"Huh? OWWW!" Something hit Naruto in the eye!

"I've cut her nail off! Finally!"

"Didja have to have it jab my eye?!"

"Oh, stop complaining! There are still 19 nails to be done!"

* * *

After 19 nails and 19 nail-jabs on the face Akane still wasn't done with Naruto's nails.

"Soak your fingers here," Akane gestured tiredly to a bowl of hot oil.

"Why?" Naruto asked suspiciously. Of all the make-over process, this manicure-thingy was the most abusive of all! Her face was still stinging, goddammit!.

"It's to soften the nails so we can get it cleaned afterwards." Akane also prepared a small basin of hot oil for Noriko's feet. "Put your feet in this too. I'll be over there. Call me when 15 minutes is over."

"Where are you going, Akane-chan?" Hoshino asked.

"Bed," was all she said and made her way to the bed where Jiraiya and two other models were currently having drinks and laughing and flirting to no end.

"Akane-chan! Here to join us?" Jiraiya howled.

"I'll pass." And with that Akane flung herself to the bed. She was asleep even before she could hit the bed.

* * *

Surprisingly Naruto obeyed Akane and dipped her fingers and feet in the warm substance. _Well, this is relaxing for once._

Fifteen minutes later they had to wake Akane up. She seemed to have regained her energy. Naruto felt offended. Were her nails really that bad? But anyway Akane cleaned Noriko's now moisturized nails and after that announced that she'd be painting her nails.

"What color would you want then, Noriko-san?"

Naruto was aghast. "Color?! Gross! That's for sissies!"

"And are you saying I'm a sissy?" Akane pointed to her green-painted nails.

"Oops."

"Ah, Akane-chan," Hoshino interrupted as always. "Just give her a French Manicure. We'll be testing different clothes on her after all."

Akane agreed. Naruto was still aghast but decided worse things could've happened. Naruto didn't know what a French Manicure was. But as she saw Akane perfectly coloring the tips with a white nail polish, she knew she sort of saw it from other girls from before.

When Akane was done, she moved back to observe her work and then grinned at Noriko. "From a mummy to a hot mama!"

Naruto couldn't tell if it was an insult or not.

* * *

Now they were on to the most dreaded thing ever! Trying clothes on!

And guess who the expert on that was?

"Orange jacket and orange shorts, you can't even call this old-fashioned because no sane person in the any historical period would wear _that,_" commented the scary woman who almost had that bitch-fight with Kaede. Her name was Michi and Naruto lunged aggressively towards her.

But as usual, Hoshino intervened and dragged Naruto away from Michi. "Ah, Noriko, Michi didn't mean that—"

"Actually, I did."

"BITCH!!!" Naruto tried to claw her face but had some difficulty because Mr. Hoshino was still gripping her by the waist. For a non-shinobi, Mr. Hoshino sure was strong.

"Now what did I say about profanities, Noriko?"

"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!"

* * *

After what seemed like an hour, everyone, as in everybody in the room including a now-sober-thanks-to-wild-Naruto Jiraiya, managed to contain the beast… err, girl.

In a short time, Michi had picked out an outfit for Naruto to try on. It consisted of a loose denim sleeveless shrug, a lacy spaghetti-strapped top and a midnight blue A-line skirt, with matching accessories.

"No," Naruto said defiantly and looked away from the group.

Everyone in the room frowned at her, everyone except Jiraiya, who merely muttered, "Poor Sasuke."

"Give me that!" Naruto snarled and tear the clothes from Michi's arms.

"Dai-kun, Jiraiya-sama, if you would please step out of the room," said Michi.

* * *

"What's first? This thing or this?" Naruto asked as she lifted the shrug and top.

The girls marveled at Noriko's idiocy.

"I always knew blondes were dumb, but not this much," Akane said.

"Obviously the top goes first or else what's the use of the shrug if it's hidden by the top?"

"Eh? What's a shrug? And what's a top?" Naruto tilted her head in question.

"Girls, I think we need a one-hour fashion lesson before we proceed," Michi concluded.

"WHAT?! ONE HOUR?!" Naruto looked daggers at Michi. She has to be the bitchiest bitch of all these bitchy models in here!

"Shut up and stop complaining, amateur."

Naruto silently shook with anger.

_Damn that bitch! So full of herself. I'll show her amateur. Hmph! Namikaze Noriko's gonna be the greatest model ever! Believe it!_

"Ooh, we'll see about that, Miss Amateur," Michi said jeeringly.

Uh-oh, did she say that out loud?! Damn, that's happening for like two times already. But she wasn't herself if she backs down of this challenge.

"You betcha. Oh, that tutorial of yours, I don't need that sort of crap. I was only trying to crack a joke back then, can't even take it?"

Michi merely clicked her tongue in annoyance.

Ooh, she had no idea bitching was this fun!

* * *

After 53 outfit mixes and 21 pairs of shoes, the operation Namikaze Noriko Total Makeover came to a wrap. Naruto dragged the luggages that contained all outfits, shoes, makeup kits, nail polishes and all those other beautification shit towards the group.

Kaede saw her coming and asked. "What're you carrying those around for, Noriko-chan?"

Naruto rolled her eyes. "These are your guys' stuff, right?"

"Oh!" Naruto rolled her eyes again. "No! These are yours now, Noriko-chan."

Naruto didn't roll her eyes this time but instead had them bulged out. "What?!"

"Yes." Kaede leaned in closer to her and whispered to her, "Dai-kun's giving all of these to you. Don't ask me why. But I think he sees the potential in you like the time when he first met Keiko-sama."

_Keiko? The girl Jiraiya knocked up?_

"Also," Kaede continued. "These stuffs are all brand new and cost a fortune since I can see the designers on these."

"Oh, well I'll thank him later… I guess? Uh, about Keiko-san, how is she?"

Kaede snuck a glance at Dai-kun before answering her. "She's still recovering from her surgery. Dai-kun sent her on vacation but no one knows where."

"Surgery? But I thought it was from… Ah! Never mind that! So is she really that good?"

Kaede gave her a suspicious look when she trailed off a bit but forgotten about that when she asked something utterly unbelievable. "I can't believe you, Noriko-chan! Keiko-sama is a supermodel! And she's the world's first teenaged supermodel that's why she's held in high regard. Even kunoichis know that! How could you not?!"

By now, everyone was looking at both of them. So they decided to leave the conversation at that.

**

* * *

A/N: **That's all! Hope it wasn't boring!

Heh, I figured the reason why I came up with this fic is because I totally, shamelessly, definitely love fashion! It so makes my world go around. But please don't hate me for it, because a lot of people hate preppy gals like me.

Any questions about this chapter? Ask away. I'll answer you in the next update or even reply to you immediately if your question's really interesting.

I'm having some trouble writing the third chapter right now. Since this is a fic about the modeling industry, I don't want to have brands names like Dolce & Gabbana, Versace, Prada, etc. to be popping around here. So I need help! Anyone with a kind heart and who knows Japanese and French out there?

There's something fishy about Kaede and Naruto's conversation, right? Oops, spoilers.

**Next chapter**, Naruto and Jiraiya along with Mr. Hoshino are moving in Star Country. And the launching party Mr. Hoshino's talking about will also happen in that chapter.

Review. Because I don't get paid for writing this, that's the least you could do =)


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